Finding the right kind of coaching for the moment you’re in – The AIMM Model
On the outside, things may look fine. Work is moving. Life is functioning. But internally there is a sense of friction. A decision that keeps circling. A restlessness that does not match how “lucky” you are supposed to feel. A quiet thought that you have outgrown something, even if you cannot yet name what. If you have never worked with a coach before, it can be hard to know what coaching actually is. The word is used for so many things that it can feel vague, or worse, salesy. So it helps to start with something simpler. Coaching is a structured conversation that helps you think more clearly about your life and work, especially in moments of change. Not by giving you answers, but by creating the conditions where your own clarity has room to surface. That might sound modest. In practice, it can be surprisingly powerful. Because many capable people are not short on intelligence or effort. They are short on space. Space to think without performing. Space to admit what they do not want. Space to hear themselves without immediately trying to solve or justify it. What coaching is not Coaching is often confused with advice. It is also confused with therapy. Advice tends to be about solutions. Someone looks at your situation and tells you what they would do. That can be helpful when the problem is mainly practical. But advice rarely touches the deeper questions people bring when they feel misaligned. Therapy is often focused on healing and clinical concerns. It can be life changing in the right context, but it is not the same as coaching. Coaching sits in a different place. It is future-facing, but not in a productivity sense. It is about clarity, direction, and the way you relate to your own decisions. It treats you as capable. It assumes you are not broken. For someone new to coaching, the most useful frame is this. Coaching helps you see what you are carrying, what is shaping you, and what you want to choose next. Why there are different “types” of coaching When you first look into coaching, you might notice there are many approaches. Person-centred. Systemic. CBT. Gestalt. Motivational Interviewing. Positive Psychology. Neuroscience-informed coaching. This can feel confusing, like you need to learn a new language just to know what you are signing up for. You do not. The simplest way to understand it is that different approaches help with different kinds of challenges. Some approaches help you understand yourself more clearly. Some help you understand how your environment affects you. Some help you work with unhelpful thinking patterns. Some help you access motivation when you feel stuck. Some help you build consistent follow-through. Coaching is not one fixed method. It is a way of working with change. The approach should match the moment you are in. The AIMM model in simple terms AIMM is a way of making coaching feel less vague. It is a map of four stages that many people move through when they are in transition or seeking more alignment in their life and work. AIMM stands for: Awareness Intention Momentum Mastery You can think of it like this. Awareness is about understanding what is really going on. Intention is about choosing a direction that feels meaningful. Momentum is about following through without being derailed by old patterns. Mastery is about sustaining what works and leading from a more grounded place. People do not move through these stages in a neat line. You might be strong in one area and uncertain in another. You might return to awareness after a promotion, or after a personal change. But the map helps you locate yourself. And once you can locate yourself, it becomes easier to see what kind of support would actually help. Awareness: making space for what you already know Many people arrive at coaching with a sense that something is off, but they cannot yet name it. They might say, “I feel stuck.” Or, “I keep overthinking.” Or, “I’m not sure what I want anymore.” Awareness is the stage where you slow down enough to hear what those signals are pointing to. This is where approaches like person-centred coaching, systemic coaching, and psychodynamic inquiry can be useful. Person-centred coaching is about creating a relational space where you can be honest, without needing to defend or perform. Systemic coaching helps you widen the lens. Sometimes what feels like a personal issue is shaped by the system you are in. That could be a workplace culture, family expectations, or a role you have outgrown. Looking at the system reduces self-blame and increases choice. Psychodynamic inquiry is helpful when the same patterns keep repeating. For example, thriving until visibility increases, then pulling back. Or feeling successful but never satisfied. It treats these patterns as meaningful, not as flaws. Awareness is not about fixing yourself. It is about seeing yourself more accurately. Intention: moving from “should” to “want” Once you can name what is true, the next question becomes direction. What do you actually want, underneath what you are expected to want? This stage matters because many high functioning people have built their lives around responsibility, achievement, and approval. Over time, that can create a quiet split. You keep succeeding, but the success no longer feels like yours. Intention is where coaching becomes about purpose, not in a grand, dramatic sense, but in a grounded one. What feels meaningful now. What fits your values. What you are ready to move towards. Approaches that support this stage include Motivational Interviewing, Positive Psychology, and values elicitation. Motivational Interviewing is useful because it respects ambivalence. It helps you hear both sides of yourself. The part that wants change and the part that is cautious or resistant. Most people try to crush resistance. This approach listens to it. Positive Psychology, done well, is not about forced positivity. It is about what creates genuine meaning and sustainable wellbeing. It can help people
A plain-English guide to coaching methods
and why they differ. If you are new to coaching, the list of approaches can feel strangely technical. Person-centred. CBT. Gestalt. Systemic. Motivational Interviewing. Positive Psychology. Neuroscience-informed coaching. And that is before you get to the broader labels people hear most often, like executive coaching, leadership coaching, team coaching, or NLP. It can leave you thinking one of two things. Either coaching is just a vague conversation with a supportive person. Or coaching is a specialist discipline you need to understand before you begin. In reality, most coaching approaches are simply different ways of paying attention. Each one starts from a slightly different view of how change happens, and each one helps bring certain things into focus. A good coach is rarely loyal to one method for its own sake. The method should fit the moment the client is in. What follows is a guide to common coaching approaches, written in plain English and without assuming prior knowledge. What “evidence-based” means in coaching “Evidence-based” is often used loosely. In its proper sense, it means the work draws on approaches that have been studied and tested in fields like psychology, behavioural science, and organisational development, then adapted carefully for coaching. It does not mean a method guarantees an outcome. It means there is a credible foundation for why the method can help, and some understanding of the kinds of situations it is most suited to. It is also worth saying this quietly. In coaching, the relationship matters. Two coaches can use the same method and create very different experiences. So it is helpful to treat approaches as lenses, not as promises. Person-Centred Coaching What it is: A relational approach that prioritises psychological safety, empathy, and respect. The premise is simple. When people feel safe enough to be honest, they tend to find their own clarity. What it is useful for: When someone has been holding it together for a long time and has lost contact with what they really think or feel. It can be particularly helpful when the surface problem is “I’m fine” but something underneath is starting to pull for attention. What it can feel like: Less fixing, more truth-telling. A space where you stop editing yourself. Systemic Coaching What it is: A wider lens that treats the person as part of a system, not a standalone unit. It explores relationships, roles, power, culture, loyalty, and the hidden rules of the environments you operate within. What it is useful for: When you are blaming yourself for something that is partly structural. Or when a decision feels impossible because it touches belonging, identity, expectation, and relationship, not just logic. Systemic coaching often brings a subtle relief. You can be personally responsible without being responsible for everything. What it can feel like: A shift from self-blame to understanding. Better judgement about what is yours to hold, and what is not. Psychodynamic Coaching What it is: A depth-oriented approach that explores patterns that may sit outside immediate awareness. It looks at identity roles, early messages about achievement and belonging, and recurring dynamics that show up across different situations. What it is useful for: When the same patterns keep repeating, even when you “know better”. Thriving until visibility increases, then pulling back. Becoming successful but never satisfied. Feeling responsible for everyone’s emotions. Choosing roles that fit others’ expectations more than your own. What it can feel like: A clearer view of what has been driving you, and why. Less confusion about “why I do this again”. Gestalt Coaching What it is: A here-and-now approach that pays attention to what is present in the moment. Not just what you say, but how you say it. What happens in your body. Where energy rises or drops. What is avoided. What becomes animated. What it is useful for: When someone is intellectually clear but emotionally disconnected. Or when the story makes sense on paper, but something about it does not land. Gestalt coaching can also help with pattern recognition in real time. Not analysing the pattern afterwards, but noticing it as it emerges. What it can feel like: A sharper kind of self-awareness. Less living from your head alone. Cognitive Behavioural Coaching (CBC) and CBT-informed approaches What it is: A coaching adaptation of cognitive behavioural ideas. It focuses on the relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. It helps you notice unhelpful thinking patterns, test them, and loosen their grip. A common tool used in this space is the ABCDE model, which helps explore what happened, what you told yourself about it, what that led to, and how a different interpretation can change what follows. The point is not “positive thinking”. The point is better thinking. What it is useful for: When the main barrier is not capability, but a mental pattern that narrows your options. Rigid “should” statements. Catastrophising. Perfectionism. Harsh self-judgement. Overthinking that becomes a form of avoidance. It is also useful when someone has clear goals but keeps undermining themselves at the point of execution, particularly in high-stakes environments. What it can feel like: Cleaner thinking. More choice. Less being pushed around by your own internal commentary. Motivational Interviewing (MI) What it is: A conversational approach designed to evoke your own reasons for change, rather than persuading you. It is known for working with ambivalence. The part of you that wants change, and the part that resists it. What it is useful for: When you can make a strong case for change, but something in you is not moving. Many capable people try to override hesitation with discipline or pressure. MI treats hesitation as meaningful data, not a weakness to bulldoze. It can also be helpful when you are exhausted by chasing what you “should” want and you need to get closer to what is actually true for you. What it can feel like: A respectful conversation with your own reluctance. Less pushing. More clarity about what is actually driving you. Positive Psychology and